We have just returned from an all day Child birthing class. A totally fun way to spend a gorgeous, sunny Saturday. Most of the class was helpful and thought provoking--as I'm writing myself a little 'to do' list that I never knew existed. Birth plan? Walking epidural? Episiotomy? Pant and Blow? Huh???
But the most terrifying part was probably the only part I was expecting...the live birth videos. How freaking scary is that. I swear--if you want your teenagers to remain celibate or on high dosages of birth control show them those videos every month or so. The images are seared into my brain.
Before today--labor was just something that I knew was down the road. I figured I would just arrive at the hospital, try to go with the flow and let the doctors do their handy work on me. I would do a couple breathing things--heave ho--and hold my crying baby. (well of course I know there's more than that but you get the idea!) Actually HAVING the baby seemed too far away to bother with the nitty gritty details of it. So I have just been enjoying all of the other preparations...getting the nursery ready, registering for all things baby and going to showers in my honor. Why freak out about the inevitable?
But then the live birth videos came into play--and labor is all I can think about. I have held newborns...hours after they have entered the world--and I'm still wondering how my body is going to extract one of those things from my nether regions. It's a bloody, gooey, scary mess that I'd rather not know about. It might have been better for me to go on thinking the stork might deliver this little one and just knock me out with drugs until it gets here. Yikes. And some people want a mirror to watch it all. NO THANKS.
As with my weight...I think that ignorance was much better on this labor subject. Some things you just don't want to know. Maybe I'll be better off the in the end for this enlightening class...but tonight--I'm expecting nightmares.
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