The Final Countdown

In one week from today I will be thirty. That's right...the big 3-0.
A year ago this prospect scared the begeezes out of me. I can't pin point the exact reason but I'm pretty certain it mainly had to do with me being OLD. Also...last year was a very trying year for many reasons. I was having the worst year yet in my teaching career, we were unsuccessfully trying to get knocked up, I was watching my best friend and love of my life Oliver deteriorate before my very eyes and Matt got a new job (although wonderful) that kept him away from home more than we were used to. Add that all up plus the looming age of 30 and what do you get? Sheer panic.
These days I'm feeling much more at ease. Again--there are a plethora of reasons for that. Matt is doing wonderfully with his new job, I am having a great year with my first graders, I am healthy and carrying a little wonder in my belly and even though I miss Oliver every day I know that he is in a better place. Turning 30 does not sound so terrifying. In fact, NTB, but I'm kind of embracing it. I've heard that your thirties are pretty freaking great so I'm looking forward to getting a taste of that (and I'll be sure to report back on that rumor).
Last year I told Matt that I would require a very large party for my 30th...a big drunken festival in which I might not even remember that I actually was getting a year older. I imagined myself surrounded by all of my friends sipping cranberry vodkas getting sassy and saucy. Instead we are taking a quiet trip to an island up shore and enjoying the company of our best friend--each other (was that cheesy??).
Anyway...it's much different from my original vision but I'm glad that I don't feel the need to mask my coming of age any longer. I'm comfortable with my life, where I am and I am going to face 30 head on...with a nice big glass of water in my hands--on the rocks, of course.